Pastor's Message

For December 2011

Thoughts I’d Like To Share ........

I have a new phone.  Maybe I should clarify that – I have a new cell phone.  Well, actually it is a computer and a camera.  Wait – that’s not right either.  In all truth its a Pandora’s box filled with so many pitfalls, dangerous paths and mysterious noises having have nothing to do with cell phone communication that I am already wondering why these black boxes are dispensed without warning labels and a prescription!

I am cell phone challenged.  My old one was great – it made and received phone calls.  It had buttons to push. My new phone is called a ‘smart phone.’  I have come to learn it is called that because its user is not, humbling but, alas, true. So, I guess I will become more grateful as time goes by that my phone is smart and is able to apply itself to more tasks than I can even bring to mind.  Oh yes – ‘Apps’ are a big deal with this thing.  It came with a bunch of them stuffed into its memory and wired into its infinite mysteries.  The list of Apps is long and immensely fascinating!  No kidding, this ‘phone’ is hooked up to the universe of human knowledge and endeavor.  Apparently there are thousands upon thousands of   applications this phone can house to help me manage my life.  Again, I guess I will come to appreciate this as my memory and my wiring fade and frizzle.  Ah, but I have a smart phone!

This modern marvel doesn’t have any buttons. It has a ‘touch screen.’ I have buttons.  Just about every time I touch the screen this thing pushes one of them.  It knows exactly how to torment and frustrate me.  Making a simple call, remember this thing is supposed to do that, takes diligence and a level of digital prowess seemingly beyond the capability of my arthritic stubby fingers.  Cell the Smart says that I should use priority voice commands.  No need to enter numbers just speak the name of who I want to talk to and it will make the call.  OK, that sounds fine but I still haven’t figured out how to do that.  Keep in mind the phone is smart and I am challenged.

The cacophony of sounds this thing is capable of making surpasses the screeching of mythological beasts tearing at each other in the wilderness beyond Stephen King’s imagination.  Ah, but this beast I have tamed!  I have learned how to apply pleasant tones to the ringer – it really is a phone after all! (look out Sir Cell I am getting smarter)

In addition, Sir Cell grants me the boon of email.  This I have come to appreciate.  This I am smart enough to open – some messages are important to receive in a timely fashion.  Let’s not talk about sending emails from this little wonder because that opens the whole issue of touch screens and stubby fingers! 

Ever-trying to keep my learning curve from eroding into a slippery slope casting me into a dark abyss I am letting Sir Cell the Smart guide me through its tutorials – yes he deems to teach the challenged.  Slowly I am learning, getting the picture, so-to-speak, because every lesson is a video shown on the screen.  Now I know that there are two cameras in this little machine.  One can be used to display your picture to someone at the other end of a video call while the other is just a good ol’fashioned camera.

Ah, the wonder of it all!   Recently Sir Cell the Smart pushed the button that opened my memory to the wonderful application of words I have long cherished:

Thus says the Lord: Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? 

  Lord sometimes I need a little more time to catch up with your new things, but I am always glad for the challenge! 

 Rev. L. Walter

(page updated 2/  3/2012)